i don't like sucking hair
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
