You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize