Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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