see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
