I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
