so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
