his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
