Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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