hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
