with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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