you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize