So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
