I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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