you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
