I'm gonna have a badass scar
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
