Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
