Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
