Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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