Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
