In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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