you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize