I'm passing your future prison.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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