Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize