I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
