So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
