I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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