There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
