Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize