tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
