i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
