Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
