I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
