Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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