Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
