What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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