Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
