i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
