Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
