i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
