I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
