I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
