OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
