Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
