the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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