Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
