the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
