I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
