wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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