spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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