We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize