hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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