so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
