Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
