You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
