Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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