i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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