Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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