At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
