You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
