WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
